Is it just me or is it HOT IN HERE?!

                                                                   

We all heard our mothers say it. We'd roll our eyes as the middle-aged women in our lives would say,"You just wait. You'll understand one day." Well, guess what, Mama? That day is here. I understand!!!!!! This aging thing sucks, for the most part. I very much love feeling liberated and knowing that my knowledge has been earned by years in the trenches. However, there are a few things about this process that can go stick somethin where the sun don't shine(yes, Mrs. Mooney, I know that isn't proper grammar).

Example number one:  Having zits sucks. Having wrinkles sucks even more. Having them both at the same time sucks more than a hungry baby with a bottle of similac.  Why do we women have to suffer this at the same time that we are also noticing those little folds and creases in our eyelids?! Come on, you know you have them too! Seriously, though, it is making me crazy. Give me zits or give me wrinkles. Please don't give me both at the same time. What's up with that?! This 40-year-old skin sucks.

Example number two:  Squint, squint.  Need I say more? I sure hope my children's lives don't depend on me reading the fine print on medicine bottles. I couldn't do it if you paid me a million dollars and threw in a twinkie.  I. Can't. See. Remember when it was humorous to see someone holding those little bottles and packets at arm's length in order to read them? Laugh no more, ladies. It is real. It sucks.

Example number three:  It's HOT! My beloved doctor continues to assure me that my hormones are fine. I beg to differ. I go to bed and I wake up looking like someone doused me with a bucket of water. I feel perfectly fine at bedtime. Nice and snuggled, I fall asleep in a comfortable room temperature of 68 degrees. My side of the bed is probably closer to 52 degrees due to the oscillating fan I have blowing full-force right beside me. This makes for many marital disputes. By morning, I look and feel like I've been working in the hot sun hoeing a garden or something. What's up with that? Give me one body temperature, please. Sweating sucks.

Example number four:  I've got friends in low places. Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talkin about. Our "friends" are a little lower now. Push-up bras don't really help. I cinch those suckers as high as I can get 'em and the end result is always the same......my friends aren't as high-up as they used to be. Low-ridin sucks.

Example number five:  Less hair on the head.....more hair where ya dread. I will just leave it at that. Explanation not needed. If you are between the ages of 38 and 99, you know exactly what I am talking about, girls! Just wait.....you'll understand one day!

Somebody please tell me........is it just me or is it HOT IN HERE?!